I Heart Education

Elli is on my lap and I think Jackie went upstairs, so perfect time to write. I was reading over a few of my blog entries from the last few years. The post I made at 750words.com yesterday I used as a blog post after some revision. It's good. In fact, some of my other posts are written well also. My writing is kind of bouncy and meandering and fun to read, even a little entertaining. And in no way is it all positive rosy depictions of life. Not at all. But I think I address reality, somewhat. I don't however post on my blog when I'm depressed. If I did that, the flavor would be totally not fun, if I got any words at all on the page. "Nothing to report." Maybe that's all I'd be able to spit out. Fun stuff. Very Eeyore-esque.

I started my blog in January of 2014, when I went back to college at the freeing age of 44, as an undergrad junior at Indiana University, where my husband was assistant professor. I was pretty convinced he would get tenure, we would stay in Bloomington, and our son would attend IU also. I thought if I was attending, he would be able to see me study, kind of modeling the behaviors of a college student. And I did. I studied and read and wrote fiction and poetry and research papers. A lot of my work at that time just ended up taking me away from my kids. But I was convinced the modeling would end up being a good idea. Then, of course, Steve did not get tenure and we had one year to prepare to move. Which is a long time, ample time to perform all the tasks of relocation well, but too long if you're not really into saying goodbyes. Steve moved in January of last year, and the kids and I followed in July. We have now lived here for 6 months.

What's that? Do I miss college? Do I want to go back? Good questions. I miss some of it: the structure provided by the attendance of classes and the bus schedules, the topics of creative writing and world literature were really fun to dive into. What I don't miss is sitting with all these 19 year olds at the age of 44. If I saw a class buddy in the hall at another time in the week, a very limited "Hi" was sometimes pushing it. I wasn't there to be social, though class time was the most socializing I had done aside from church in years. I loved it. But not one of my professors was older than me. I'm not being age-ist, but as sometimes happens with age, we think we've learned a few things over the years, and someone who has not been there yet cannot possibly see things the same way. It was an odd combination, not being as knowledgeable as my professors---or even as many other students!---but having experienced more of LIFE. Very weird. I loved the tasks, the studying, the writing assignments, the books. God, I love the books.

So, recently, I went into a college bookstore, and browsed the shelves, recognizing, "Oh, I remember taking English 101..." and passing quickly by the accounting and nursing sections. I was drawn to some textbooks, some lit books and lots of others, but settled on buying 6 books to bring home and study in my own time. What a great idea! I can spend a little bit of money on books at a discount college book store, and map out my own course of study for them in whatever topic I choose! Which actually is really close to my previous approaches to attending 5 different schools altogether. I never cared about the degree I would receive at the end. I was loving the learning. Best times in my life. Could it be possible to get a good education of a topic by choosing to read and maybe give myself some writing and research assignments? And, if I liked a topic so so much, I could find more resources to study in 201, 301, and 401 advanced classes. Of course, all this studying would enrich my life incredibly, or so I assume, but would it help me get related employment in the case of my husband no longer bringing in the bacon? That would be a "no." Unless I could impress someone in an interview, displaying all the knowledge I retained and was able to retrieve appropriately at any given time. HA! I guess it's possible.